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It’s good to talk about the relationship and of course you’re going to think about it, but after a while, it’s good to limit yourself to force you into processing your thoughts, limit the anger holding, and more importantly fill up your mind with other stuff.A number of readers actually put a time in their diary that they are allowed to think about their ex and for the rest of the day, there is no room in the inn!We then think about starting over, having to put ourselves out there, getting out of comfort zone, interacting with new people, discovering our own accountability for what may have happened in our relationships and being a person of action and it can all seem very scary.So we go back to the safe cocoon of feeling hurt, indignant, angry, frustrated and often in denial about our ex because it stalls the process of being 100% accountable for our own experience…even though we still are.Next thing you know, you’re hijacked by nostalgia or blame, obsessing, or even dialling or texting them.

Thinking about the fact that you’re thinking about them will only exasperate you further.

If they didn’t do this, they’d be thinking about him all the time just because they could and it was Yes – it does become a habit to think and talk about your ex.

That doesn’t actually mean that you’re actually as invested in them still as you believe, it’s just it has become second nature and your purpose to think and talk about them.

A few weeks ago I wrote about the importance of not making someone the sole source of your happiness, your reason for being or your purpose, and explained that on a number of occasions I had believed I wouldn’t love again, that I wouldn’t recover and that I couldn’t be happy without them, only to discover that this was completely exaggerated and untrue.

I’m here, I’m still standing, and with the wonderful vision that hindsight gives me, I realise that it was the pain of letting go more so than the person.

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